How to Help a Friend with an Eating Disorder

Sandy Richardson

Do you know someone with an eating disorder? If that person is your friend, you might be the best one to talk to them about getting help. If you are a good friend, then you are trustworthy, and the person who has the problem will know that you want to help. Here are some ways you can encourage and help a person with anorexia or bulimia.

1. Learn as much as you can about eating disorders. Read articles, books and good information on the Internet. www.something-fishy.org and www.nationaleatingdisorders.org are good sources with other suggestions for information. Avoid websites that promote or glorify dieting or eating disorder behavior.
2. Be honest with your friend. Avoiding the issue or ignoring it won't make it go away. Eating disorders can be fatal, so talk honestly and openly with them about your concerns. It helps to start sentences with "I" rather than "you." For instance, they won't get as defensive if you say "I'm worried because I notice you're losing a lot of weight quickly" instead of "You need to stop dieting. You're losing too much weight."
3. Be caring, but be firm. Don't make rules or promises that you can't or won't uphold. For example, "I won't tell anyone" or "If you do that again, I'll never speak to you again."
4. Compliment your friend on his or her personality, talents, sense of humor, or successes. Remind them that real beauty comes from inside.
5. Be a good role model about exercise, dieting and self-esteem.
6. Encourage your friend to tell someone. Offer to go with them if they're nervous or afraid. Remember that the earlier the eating disorder is addressed, the better chance they have of getting well.
7. If your friend refuses to tell someone about the eating disorder, then you do it. They will probably be angry, but if you love tem, you won't help them hide something that can hurt them.