December 2003
Holiday meals often involve extended family and special foods. Many of these people and foods might be triggers for eating disorder thoughts and behaviors. Planning ahead is a great way to alleviate some of the stress and avoid triggers. Here are some ways that you can plan to have an enjoyable holiday meal.
1. Remember that you have choices. Feeling trapped increases stress, and can in itself be a trigger. For example: You don’t have to attend the family gathering. You can choose to not go. Don’t avoid going just because the food doesn’t feel safe, but especially when you’re new in recovery, recognize your limitations and give yourself some grace. Consider having your own special meal and inviting people who can support you.
2. Find a buddy. Think of a friend or family member who will be at family gatherings where meals are planned. Ask that person (in advance) to eat dinner with you. Your buddy can help in several ways: * Give your buddy some idea of your food plan for that meal so that they can help you make food choices and estimate portions if you get overwhelmed. * Have her sit with you during the meal and remind you to enjoy the moment. * If someone else at the table is commenting on your food choices or encouraging you to eat more or less, your buddy can be your buffer. Ask them to say something to that person for you if you aren’t comfortable saying it. For example, "She has it all under control, but thanks for your concern." Or your buddy could just change the subject. "Say, how about them Steelers?"
3. Consider eating at the kid’s table. Kids are usually non-judgmental and sometimes more fun than the adults.
4. Listen to your body! During the holiday season it is easy to neglect our hunger and fullness signals. Try to maintain a balanced meal system, and be kind to yourself about what you are eating.
5. Make sure that there is food available that you are comfortable eating. Offer to bring a dish so that there will be something that fits your food plan. For example, if you are a vegetarian, and the main course will be ham or roast beef, bring a meatless main course dish that you can share. Or, if your Aunt Velma’s sweet potato casserole is just too scary (you know the one – 2 sweet potatoes and 3 bags of marshmallows!), make your own that contains ingredients that fit your food plan.
6. Be adventurous and curious. If you find that you are berating yourself for over-indulging or eating foods that you would not normally eat, try not to be judgmental about those feelings. Remember, these are special foods for a special time.