August 2003
Getting along with others does not mean always letting others get their way and allowing meanness. It is important to be able to speak up for yourself and to say what you need and to tell your friends when they've been hurtful. Healthy friendships allow each person to be happy and to get her way some of the time. If you have a friend who walks all over you by never letting you have a say, or says hurtful things, try speaking up for yourself. It may be helpful to use "I" messages to help them hear your point less defensively. Say, "I felt hurt and embarrassed when you said I needed to go on a diet in front of the boys at school yesterday" rather than saying, "You are always so mean to me and make fun of me."